So, let’s see if I can get this timeline right. Sean Spicer officially resigned on July 21st, right? Am I right? Was it really less than 2 weeks ago? After six months of mockery, intimidation, lies, and SNL sketches, Sean Spicer finally resigned. He actually lasted quite a long time, considering how much speculation of his upcoming unemployment circulated since his first briefing as White House Press Secretary when he lied about the size of President Cheeto’s inauguration crowd size.
But the President was bringing on a grade-A asshole named Anthony Scaramucci to the White House, to take over as Communications Director. It turns out that even Sean Spicer had limits.
Scaramucci was an awesome White House character, wasn’t he? Outright offensive to everyone he spoke to or talked about, his only enduring quality was his love of the president. Hey, it’s a love that sprung up from seemingly nowhere (**cough cough payoff **cough cough maybe blackmail), but Trump don’t care. Loyal is loyal, and Scaramucci was fresh and exciting.
It turns out he was a little too exciting. He made outrageous comments on the air and even blew a kiss when he left the stage. Comedians had a field day with this guy–he was pretty much the living embodiment the unholy love child of Michael Corleone and Joe Pesci in any role he’s ever been in. His stereotypical Italian schmuck persona provided seemingly limitless parody potential.
Yeah. It was that surreal. Comedians absolutely loved him, and that was before the interview from The New Yorker. Completely unprovoked, Anthony Scaramucci called up the journalist Ryan Lizzie to extract the name of White House leakers. Instead of getting what he wanted, Scaramucci went on a tirade bitching in very graphic language about all the people he was going to have to work with in the White House. Steve Bannon and Reince Priebus were at the top of the list. If you haven’t read the article, I urge you to do so. It was delicious. And disturbing, because this is supposed to be a person of authority spouting all this shit, and he didn’t even have the presence of mind to state that this was all off the record first. Clearly, a smart move on his part.
Speaking of Reince Priebus….guess who got fired, probably due to this Scaramucci’s insistence? On July 28th, President Trump announced his replacement General John F. Kelly via twitter (because why not) without having informed Priebus of his getting laid off. Talk about fucked up. Priebus heard about it in a limousine surrounded by colleagues in a rainstorm. His colleagues quickly skedaddled out of the limo. You gotta’ admit–that must have been an awkward car ride.
Then, after all that, Scaramucci was fired on July 31st–before he’d even started the damn job! I can’t keep up!
I’d like to point out one thing, though. Before all this change-up of White House staff, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah, the failed health care plan. Before that? The proposed (but unsubstantiated) ban on transgendered soldiers from the United States military. Before that? Oh, that’s right. Donald Trump, Jr.’s and Jared Kushner’s ties to Russia. We sure have been getting distracted from that piece of news lately.
Maybe President Trump isn’t as dumb as he appears.
Picture from the Washington Post