This recipe is strictly for the overachievers among us. Seriously, this recipe is a ton of work, and it’s SOOO much easier to simply buy a package at the grocery store and throw a couple egg rolls in the oven. Having said that, the homemade variety is freaking delicious. So…enjoy. Assuming you try this one out.
In a food processor, chop up one small cabbage and one medium yellow onion together. In frying pan, brown and crumble 1 lb. of raw sausage (it can be any brand you like with any seasonings that strike your fancy). After draining the sausage, mix it with the shredded cabbage and onions. Take one package of egg roll wraps (they’re usually in the produce aisle at the grocery store). You have to individually place 2 to 4 tablespoons of the mixture in the center of the egg roll wraps, folding the corners together. I use a 2 egg-white and 1/4 cup of water concoction to glue the folds together. Then you dip the entire egg roll in the egg-whites and set aside. Be sure the corners of the egg roll are flat, as this makes it easier to fry. You then fry it up in very hot oil. Cook until they’re golden, then turn. When the egg rolls are done, place them on paper towels to drain. They taste awesome with sweet-and-sour. Repeat. This whole process is a pain in the ass, but these suckers really are remarkable.
The biggest thing to remember about these cookies (other than how delicious and moist they are) is to refrigerate the dough overnight. Don’t just pop the dough in the fridge for an hour or two thinking that will be enough. This stuff is pretty dang sticky.
First of all, mix 1/2 cup of butter and 4 squares of chocolate in the microwave. When this is all melted, stir and add 2 cups of sugar, 4 eggs (beaten), 2 teaspoons of baking powder, and 2 teaspoons of vanilla. After that’s all mixed, add 2 cups of flour and stir until the dough is smooth. Cover in airtight plastic and put in the fridge overnight. The next day, place 1 cup of powdered sugar into a bowl. Roll the dough into balls, then roll them into the powdered sugar. Place on cookie sheet with parchment paper. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 12-15 minutes. These cookies are messy, but they taste awesome.
After such a crazy week and weekend, I think it’s time to celebrate with a bit of comfort food. Here’s my mother’s recipe for some plain old biscuits. Nothing fancy, but it’s a simple recipe with reliable results.
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. In a good-sized bowl, add 2 cups of flour, 4 teaspoons of baking powder, 1/2 teaspoon of salt, and 1 1/2 tablespoons of sugar. Stir the dry ingredients together, then cut in 1/2 cup of cold (as in refrigerated, not frozen) butter. Once those ingredients are relatively mixed, add 1 beaten egg and 2/3 cup of milk. After that’s all stirred into dough, dump onto a floured board. Knead for approximately one minute, then roll it out to 1 inch thickness. Cut with a biscuit cutter or drinking class of desired size. Place on a greased cookie sheet. Bake 10-12 minutes. Tastes awesome with butter and honey.
By The Oracle
This is a recipe to get us through the Trump years since we are all pretty much screwed. Usually, it’s a glass of orange juice with a shot of vodka, but this is the Mommy version. I have too many kids to go around drunk all the time.
Instructions: Pour orange juice into a 24 ounce glass. Then think longingly of vodka while you drink it.
Then go get 12 hours of sleep. You’ll need it.
Side Note from Persephone: This is our 101st post! I can’t believe we’ve stuck so well with this website since starting it November 9th, the day after President Cheeto won the electoral vote to become a constant nightmarish presence in our day-to-day lives. God, this is going to be a long four years.
By The Oracle
Barbara Streisand just wrote on Twitter that she was getting through the Trump years with the judicious application of pancakes with syrup. While she complained about the extra pounds, I thought her efforts sounded like a great idea. We don’t really appreciate breakfast foods the way we should.
Here’s my recipe. I usually have to triple it in my household, but then I’ve got lots of hungry people to feed.
1 cup flour
2 tablespoons sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons baking powder
Sprinkle of salt
3 tablespoons melted butter
1 cup milk
1 beaten egg
1/2 tablespoon vanilla (or however much you like. I usually go heavy. I like vanilla.)
Mix flour, sugar, baking powder and salt together in a medium bowl. Add the milk and vanilla to the melted butter, THEN add the beaten egg. (You don’t want the hot butter to scramble the egg. The milk will cool it off first.) Mix the wet ingredients into the dry with a large spoon until just a little lumpy. In a large pan on medium heat melt a small pat of butter. You just want to coat the bottom of the pan. (You will not need to add more butter between batches.) Spoon a large spoonful of batter on to the pan. You should get four silver dollar pancakes, or you can use a measuring cup to get two larger pancakes. This is awesome with syrup, fruit, or fruity syrup…whatever suits your fancy.
Here’s an insanely easy recipe I use whenever I’m cooking for a large group (frequently when I was involved with band stuff, for instance). It only uses three ingredients, which is awesome. These include:
2 cups Bisquick
1 lb. original sausage
2 cups shredded medium or mild cheddar cheese
The biggest booger of this whole operation is mixing up the dough, since you pretty much have to do it by hand thanks to the raw sausage. Roll them into balls once mixed, place on a cookie sheet, and bake at 350 degrees for 12 to 15 minutes. They taste awesome warm or cold. Bring them to any event involving hungry teenagers, and I guarantee these will disappear.
By The Oracle
Happy Valentine’s Day! This recipe originated from a booklet made by the Philadelphia Cheesecake people. I’ve messed with it a bit. Mostly, I made it bigger. The original recipe made six. My recipe makes 24. I’ve also changed up the crust. The original recipe was very crust heavy.
1 cup graham cracker crumbs
3 tablespoons sugar
4 tablespoons melted butter
4 8 ounce packages of cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 teaspoons lemon peel
1 teaspoons vanilla
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Mix the graham cracker crumbs, 3 tbsp. sugar, and melted butter. Place cupcake papers in muffin pans. Drop about a heaping teaspoon in each cup. Press down with a spoon to make a level crust. Bake for five minutes. Cool while you are working on the cake batter.
For the batter, beat the cream cheese, sugar, lemon juice, lemon peel, and vanilla in a mixer on medium. When it is a creamy consistency, add the eggs one at a time. Put a large spoonful in each cup until it’s just 1/4 or a 1/2 of an inch under the edge of the cupcake cup. Bake for 25 minutes. The cheesecakes should be puffy when they’re done. Let them cool for about 20 minutes, and then place in the refrigerator to chill. It’s wonderful all on its own, or you can serve it with any fruity type of pie filling.
It’s unusual when I’m not working all day, so this is a pretty ideal recipe for me. Crockpots are awesome when you’re out of the kitchen all day. You just pop all the ingredients in, turn on the crockpot, then run off to work. Other than side dishes, you’ve got everything covered.
For this insanely easy recipe, you start off with a whole (thawed) chicken. I usually try for one of a larger size, but I’m usually feeding a large family. Rinse the chicken out with warm water, then place breast-side up in the crockpot. Smooth on 2 tablespoons of butter on the very top of the chicken, then season. I use seasonings according to my mood. I frequently like citrus or maple seasonings, although I’ve lately wished there was a seasoning that increases intelligence to the general public even as it reduces my depression. However, this is just a crockpot chicken, and miracles are not included. After you’ve thrown on whatever seasonings you like, fill the pot with warm water until the water is just about level with the surface of the chicken. Cover. Start the crockpot on low, cooking for 8 hours. When it’s done, extract out all the skin and bones, serving the rest of the chicken with the desired side dishes.
This recipe is pretty awesome because you can use all the broth with any leftover chicken on another night for chicken soup. It’s pretty nifty.
By The Oracle
This is a favorite around our house. It’s easy to make in the morning for the night ahead. There is nothing better on a cold winter day than coming home to a warm pot of chili in the crockpot. This also goes great with cornbread. Plus, it doesn’t taste vegetarian. My husband is an ardent carnivore, and he loves it.
(Makes a nice amount, but in my house we double it.)
1 tbs vegetable oil
1 cup finely chopped onion
1 cup chopped red bell pepper
2 tbs minced jalapeno pepper (Optional. It depends how spicy you like it. I skip it.)
1 minced garlic clove
1 can (28 ounces) crushed tomatoes
1 can (14 1/2 ounces) black beans, rinsed and drained
1 can (14 ounces) garbanzo beans, drained
1/2 cup canned corn
1/4 cup tomato paste
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp dried basil leaves
1 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 cup shredded cheese
- Heat oil in large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until hot. Add onion, bell pepper, jalapeno pepper, and garlic; cook and stir 5 minutes or until vegetables are tender.
- Spoon vegetables into slow cooker. Add remaining ingredients, except cheese, to slow cooker; mix well. Cover and cook on LOW 4 to 5 hours. Garnish with cheese if desired.
By The Oracle
It’s cold and snowy outside. While that’s nice for a while, at a certain point you’re just sick of it all. This recipe is great for those days when you long for summer. It’s tropical and fruity. Plus, you don’t have to cut anything up because it all comes from a can. This recipe is awesome at potlucks.
3 15.25 oz. cans of tropical mix fruit
1 15.25 oz. can of crushed pineapple
1 11 oz. can of mandarin oranges
2 6 oz. containers of pina colada yogurt
3/4 cup flake coconut
3/4 cup mini marshmallows (stale ones work really well)
Open and drain the five cans of fruit. When fully drained, mix together in a bowl with the coconut, marshmallows, and yogurt. Refrigerate for several hours and serve chilled.