Peel and slice 4 cups of apples into small pieces. My mother recommended Rome’s or Granny Smith’s, but any of them work really. Mix 1 tablespoon of lemon juice and 1 cup of chopped nuts in with the apples. Set aside. In a large mixing bowl, place 1 1/2 cups of sugar, 1/2 cup of vegetable oil, 2 teaspoons of baking soda, 1 tablespoon of cinnamon, 2 well-beaten eggs, and 2 teaspoons of vanilla. When this is all mixed, add 2 cups of flour (warning–this batter will be THICK!) Add the apples and nuts, stirring. When all is moistened, place the batter in a greased 9 x 13 inch pan and bake at 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes. If you’d prefer a bundt pan, extend baking time to an hour.
This is a great cake that always receives a lot of compliments. It’s so moist it doesn’t need frosting, and the heavy reliance on apples creates the illusion that this recipe is good for you. It isn’t, but it sure is delicious.
You know what? Breakfast food sounds good right now. This one’s a good’un. The best part, as always, is the cinnamon-sugar topping.
Stir together one egg, 1/2 cup milk, and 1/4 cup vegetable oil. Add 1/2 cup sugar, 2 teaspoons of baking powder, and a sprinkle of salt. Lastly, stir in 1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour. Pour the batter into a greased 9X9-inch pan. Top with a spicy topping made from 1/4 cup brown sugar, 1 tablespoon flour, 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon, 1 1/2 tablespoons melted butter, and 1/2 cup chopped nuts. Stir the topping while the butter is still hot, then sprinkle over the dough. Bake 25 minutes at 375 degrees.
Yesterday, the President was quite crazy with the tweets. I could analyze them and wonder just what happened to our country to allow this to happen, but I instead decided to give you the recipe for my mother’s Chocolate-Chocolate Cake. It was my Dad’s favorite.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix together 2/3 cup of oil and 2 eggs. Add 1 1/2 cups sugar. Beat until creamy and fluffy using an electric mixer. Add 1/2 cup powdered cocoa, 1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda, 1/2 teaspoons salt, and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Alternately add 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour with 1 cup of butter milk. If you don’t have butter milk, my Mom substitutes 1 tablespoon lemon juice added to a cup of milk. Mix all the ingredients together and pour into either a greased 9 x 13 inch pan or two greased 9-inch cake pans (use parchment paper). Bake for 25-30 minutes. Top with the fudge topping.
For the topping: in a microwavable bowl, place 1/3 cup water and 1/3 cup margarine. Melt these ingredients in the microwave before adding a sprinkle of salt, 1/2 cup cocoa, and 1 lb. powdered sugar. Stir vigorously. When all the sugar is dissolved, add 1 teaspoon vanilla. This should be applied to cake while it’s still warm, as it stiffens quickly at room temperature.
Enjoy. Chocolate is always the answer.
This recipe is strictly for the overachievers among us. Seriously, this recipe is a ton of work, and it’s SOOO much easier to simply buy a package at the grocery store and throw a couple egg rolls in the oven. Having said that, the homemade variety is freaking delicious. So…enjoy. Assuming you try this one out.
In a food processor, chop up one small cabbage and one medium yellow onion together. In frying pan, brown and crumble 1 lb. of raw sausage (it can be any brand you like with any seasonings that strike your fancy). After draining the sausage, mix it with the shredded cabbage and onions. Take one package of egg roll wraps (they’re usually in the produce aisle at the grocery store). You have to individually place 2 to 4 tablespoons of the mixture in the center of the egg roll wraps, folding the corners together. I use a 2 egg-white and 1/4 cup of water concoction to glue the folds together. Then you dip the entire egg roll in the egg-whites and set aside. Be sure the corners of the egg roll are flat, as this makes it easier to fry. You then fry it up in very hot oil. Cook until they’re golden, then turn. When the egg rolls are done, place them on paper towels to drain. They taste awesome with sweet-and-sour. Repeat. This whole process is a pain in the ass, but these suckers really are remarkable.
The biggest thing to remember about these cookies (other than how delicious and moist they are) is to refrigerate the dough overnight. Don’t just pop the dough in the fridge for an hour or two thinking that will be enough. This stuff is pretty dang sticky.
First of all, mix 1/2 cup of butter and 4 squares of chocolate in the microwave. When this is all melted, stir and add 2 cups of sugar, 4 eggs (beaten), 2 teaspoons of baking powder, and 2 teaspoons of vanilla. After that’s all mixed, add 2 cups of flour and stir until the dough is smooth. Cover in airtight plastic and put in the fridge overnight. The next day, place 1 cup of powdered sugar into a bowl. Roll the dough into balls, then roll them into the powdered sugar. Place on cookie sheet with parchment paper. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 12-15 minutes. These cookies are messy, but they taste awesome.
After such a crazy week and weekend, I think it’s time to celebrate with a bit of comfort food. Here’s my mother’s recipe for some plain old biscuits. Nothing fancy, but it’s a simple recipe with reliable results.
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. In a good-sized bowl, add 2 cups of flour, 4 teaspoons of baking powder, 1/2 teaspoon of salt, and 1 1/2 tablespoons of sugar. Stir the dry ingredients together, then cut in 1/2 cup of cold (as in refrigerated, not frozen) butter. Once those ingredients are relatively mixed, add 1 beaten egg and 2/3 cup of milk. After that’s all stirred into dough, dump onto a floured board. Knead for approximately one minute, then roll it out to 1 inch thickness. Cut with a biscuit cutter or drinking class of desired size. Place on a greased cookie sheet. Bake 10-12 minutes. Tastes awesome with butter and honey.
By The Oracle
This is a recipe to get us through the Trump years since we are all pretty much screwed. Usually, it’s a glass of orange juice with a shot of vodka, but this is the Mommy version. I have too many kids to go around drunk all the time.
Instructions: Pour orange juice into a 24 ounce glass. Then think longingly of vodka while you drink it.
Then go get 12 hours of sleep. You’ll need it.
Side Note from Persephone: This is our 101st post! I can’t believe we’ve stuck so well with this website since starting it November 9th, the day after President Cheeto won the electoral vote to become a constant nightmarish presence in our day-to-day lives. God, this is going to be a long four years.